SINGLENESS

The state of being single has been despised by many young individuals. The ideology of the state of singleness being a state of being unfulfilled has gone rampant and many young individuals just want to be in a relationship by any means possible.

The expectations of the society have made many feel incomplete or unsuccessful unless they are dating, fostering the belief that relationships are essential to happiness and purpose.

But singleness is far from deficit. It is a condition of being one. That is, a state of being a separate individual. It is a state of wholeness, uniqueness and completeness. 

To think you are not whole, unique or complete until you get into a relationship is a mindset to be corrected because in the first place, being in a relationship doesn’t make for wholeness and completeness.

Wholeness and completeness come not from another person but from a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. If you’re not content in your own identity and in Christ, a relationship won’t fill that void.

The period of singleness is not a period to be despised, dear woman. Rather, it is a period of formation and growth. The period of singleness is a blessing and must be used judiciously.

The period of singleness is a period that should be used to sow seeds and not mess around.

You definitely know what you want in a spouse. Rather than while away, hoping to mingle soon, why not become the person you’d want to meet?  Because really, when it comes to getting into a relationship, like attracts like. That is, the kind of partner you desire will be drawn to the qualities you develop in yourself now.

For instance, if you desire to have a minister of God as a spouse, then you must dedicate yourself to growing spiritually and preparing for a life with such a partner. This season is the perfect time to build yourself into someone who can support and complement the kind of person you want by your side.

And it’s not just about preparing for a spouse—this time is also for you. This time is the only time you can really develop yourself. All you put into yourself now is all you will express when you get into marriage.

Wonder why most relationships don’t last? The single days of both parties or either parties were not judiciously used to prepare for that phase of life - marriage.

Love your single days. Read that book! Take that course! Learn about family and relationships! Learn about parenting! Learn that skill! Gain financial independence! Serve God with all of you in this season! Love yourself! Build a friendly and non-toxic community with fellow singles around you! Go to the gym! Tidy up yourself! All of these activities and many more are seeds to sow of which you would reap when you get into that relationship. Of course, it will be a glorious one!

The pressure? C’mon! You shouldn’t feel pressured. 

Satisfaction, joy, wholeness and completeness comes from Jesus. If you have Him, pressure wouldn’t even be a problem.

Rather than focus on what people say, focus on yourself. There’s an empire to build of which can only be built in the period of singleness.

God has given you this period as a gift. Use it judiciously because really, the period of singleness will pass away and you’d have to be with someone for the rest of your life when the time is right.

God’s prerequisite for marriage is singleness. How you spend your single days will determine who you will end up with. God gives His best daughters to His best sons. If you don’t work towards beating the standard of being with one of His best sons, you might just have yourself to blame.

Make judicious use of your single days, dear woman.

There’s a lot to discover about yourself in your single days. Get refined, dear woman.

You can be single and be prosperous, you can be single and successful, you can be single and fulfilled, you can be single and be all God wants you to be.

Always remember, your worth is far above rubies!